Simultaneously polarized
I find myself sometimes in the bizarre place of feeling opposite, strong emotions at the exact same time. Right now, there are some things that I am very excited about. There are some things that really frustrate me. Both are very much in the centre of my attention right now, and I end up going around in circles (mentally...although literally might help me chill a bit). It's exhausting!Here's a question. When does frustration become a bad attitude?
posted by sibbie751 @ 10:25 p.m.
17 Comments:
I'm not the one to ask...
but I'm reading you.
I think when the issue is not addressed. Because you stew about it and maybe vent to others but don't deal with the frustration. Trust me I'm the queen of it!
Is it a love interest thing?
Love interest...? No. Wouldn't that be fun!
I think that Fustration turns into a bad thing when you let it affect the relationships you have with people. Especially when they're not to blame for it.
And..I think that the Sunday School answer would be to say that all fustration is bad. It's kinda like you wont let God take it over and you want to keep the bad things inside and then give it a name so people sympathize for you.
When does frustration become a bad attitude?
GREAT question!
Not sure I have the answer, but I think there are a few things to keep in mind (think about). Frustration may have turned into a bad attitude if:
-Our relationship with God is negatively affected.
-We avoid people because a relationship has been damaged or broken.
-Our response is not relative to the problem (overreaction). Whenever I overreact, I can usually guarantee that I am having a bad attitude.
-I am more concerned or passionate with being right or having my own way than I am about the task at hand.
-I get more concerned about the task than the relationships with those around me.
Notice that I called these "things to think about" not "answers"... These come from my own experience more than anything deeply philosophical.
jo...thanks for reading!
jtjl...so is it always appropriate to address it when you are frustrated with someone?
drumming...thanks for stopping by. I appreciate your thoughts. I agree that when frustration negatively effects a relationship, it has crossed the line into a bad attitude. But I don't know that I think all frustration is bad. God has used frustration (even anger!) at various points in my life as a catalyst for some very positive things.
A-train...good points to think about!
Hey Snaud, it's Melissa (yes, me, I'm alive - and I read all you's all's posts - ahhh, I miss Kelley - frequently but I'm usually too lazy to respond... is that a form of stalking- this reading but never posting comments?). Anyway, I've been working through an issue similar to what you've mentioned, so I thought I'd share my two bits.
I had a prof (a cool rabbi, actually - he's my favorite prof) tell me last year that I don't deal well with ambivelence. I had to get out your ratty tatterred Webster's to see what that meant. It's "the co-existance of mutually conflicting emotions, thoughts, or ideas". Diametrically opposed, existing in the same body. (I'm sure YOU already knew that - I had to look it up).
Then, I was watching this psychotic movie with Angelina Jolie (really - it was about women in a mental institution) and the therapist in the movie explained that the prefix for ambivelence means "two" (think of ambidextrous) and the root is the same from which we get "vigor". It's two vigorous things existing simultaneously in one body.
If I were to have a blog (which I don't) I would call it "Learning the Grey".
Until very recently my entire world was black and white, fit into nice neat boxes. i had answer, or was on my way to finding answers, for everything. And then living overseas screwed all of that up. There weren't neat boxes to put things in anymore. Right and wrong seemed less clear. Black and white has melded into grey...
The application to your blog is that I am trying to learn, possibly for the first time, how to be okay with seemingly conflicting emotions or viewpoints co-existing in one body and mind. It's forcing me to become less concrete, more abstract. I have a lot less answers and a lot more questions. And I'm learning to be okay with that.
The funny thing is, it seems that in ancient Christianity, they were much more attune to this kind of living. Somehow (maybe I'm romanticizing here - but I'm in love with Francis of Assisi at the moment and he seems to get this) they seemed able to feel outrage at everyday things that were down-right wrong, yet also detach themselves from those things and live with an eternal persective.
Now, how that plays into everyday life, I'm not exactly sure. But I think that part of it is learning to be okay with the conflict. In my conflict resolution classes they teach us that conflict is a GOOD thing- that tension is important to maintaining balance in society. Frustration and Excitement can be like two ends of a string that, when pulled, keep life taut, alive, if that makes sense.
I have no idea if that speaks to what you're going through. I guess my bottom line is that when you let the frustration get to you, you've missed the point. Excitment, frustration, joy, anger, they are all emotions that God created and that we are to embrace and dwell in Him in. It's cool for them to co-exist. They co-exist in God too. I think the trick is to learn to embrace it all, and wait to see what He's going to do.
Much easier said than done, I know. Sorry if that's preachy. I hope it's at least somewhat helful.
When is everyone coming to DC to see me?
sibbie: no doubt about it..God can use fustration..but I have found (and we have to remember I'm only 19..well almost) God has "thrusted me into greatness" when I finally couldn't take the fustration any more and I finally gave it all up.
And now..looking back on my post..some of it was stupid and not a clear thought of what i was thinking..lol
I appreciate Melissa's response. I can totally relate with the black/white side of life. I lived there for many years until I discovered grey. If you are in contact at all with humans you will learn there us grey. Not to say there isn't a right and wrong but lives are messy. I like when she said "...I'm learning to be okay with the conflict". I have learned that lesson as well. Good post Aud..lots to chew on.
Grey? GREY? There is NO Grey!!!! Just kidding. Melissa, is it true that you want us all to come visit you in DC this summer?
I heard that she not only wants us all to come down and visit her, but she wants to fly us all down to visit her!!!
WOO-HOO!!! I'll bring the beef jerky!!
Yippeee! You're all coming down to visit me! Jenn, can't you snag the Blazer van??? Pack it up with BBC "has beens" from days of yore? Kristi - can you produce enough jerky and road tunes to entertain the group for the 20+ hour drive? And I'll start planning the menu now for your visit... we'll make it a eat-your-way-around DC tour.
ah. I remember that beef jerky. It was great stuff. I was out about ten bucks by the end of the selling season. :)
And I say with the passion of Prez ( and a slightly bent finger)..I LOVE IT!!! Of course I can provide enough jerky and road tunes to last that long..Is my name not Kristi 'road tunes jerky' Benson? COME ON!! Do you even have to ask????
And Jo, were you able to get in on the 'frequent buyer' cards that were given to tried and true jerky lovers? I hope so!
P.S Jo, I'm glad we cleaned you out for missions!!
On a side note *one* of our frequent buyers (also known as Audrey) infiltrated the system and gained knowledge of our secret recipe, which she is still in posession of. So of course that means that we will now be making beef jerky here in Monkytown.....uuuaaaaaauuuaaaaa (insert evil food laugh here)
sssshhhhh (whisper) pstt Jo..pstt Jo...do you see how the 'tide has turned' into meaningful food conversation.........
everytime....everytime....
Sinclair...wow. Good to know you're alive. Thanks for stopping by. Good thoughts. As much as I like things to be black & white, I also think that wisdom is often found in the balance (or perhaps tension is a better word) between two extremes.
My closing thoughts on the initial question? I think something that makes it clear to me very quickly is how I feel when I pray about the issue at hand. If my attitude is out of whack on some issue, I feel quite silly and sheepish very quick if I try to talk to God about it. On the flip side, if I have genuine, valid frustration, and I'm seeking to choose a response that is honouring to God, I can talk to Him about it quite openly, even though I'm wrestling with the emotion of it all.
Then it is a matter of choosing if and how that frustration can be communicated. "Courteous but firm" (a friend's motto).
A few verses that popped into my head this week made me go hmmm...
"Let your gentleness be evident to all..."
"Clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness & patience..."
Frustration can be a downward spiral or a catalyst for something higher. The difference? Being honest with ourselves and God. Choosing our response, and seeking to frame it in a manner that is full of grace.
So that's that. On to two things I love. Jerky and missions. When the two are combined...look out. I think I was the largest contributor to sinclair & K-dog's fundraising. I used my frequent buyer card.
Perhaps the missions committee at MW needs to tap into this fundraising through addiction thing. We're already doing the caffeine. I say we start selling jerky at Mocha Wesleyan, and then there's no telling how far it will take us. The sky's the limit!
I see jo removed her last comment. Does that mean we are UNinvited to Kentucky?
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