Trinidad thoughts & lessons learned (in no particular order)
OK...I've been putting off articulating anything substantial about my missions trip to Trinidad because I don't have it all figured out yet, and I don't know that I have any huge revelations to share. I feel like as a keen advocate of short-term missions and the power they hold for life-change, I should have some huge epiphanies to offer. Not quite, but I'm no longer going to put off expressing a few reflections, even if they don't seem "big" enough.A. Purpose.
It wasn't long into the trip that I started to question my purpose in being there. As a girl who works a desk job, I certainly didn't have maximum skills and stamina to offer in the hard manual labour we were doing. Wouldn't it have made more sense to have some strong, able-bodied guy in my place? For that matter, why spend all the time any money for any of us to go there when there are many capable locals who are accustomed to working in the climate...would it not be more efficient and effective to spend even a fraction on tools and materials and employ locals?
But our project leader on site, Marko, said something the first day that kept coming back to me...the work we were doing was our worship to God. Worship is not about comparing against one another or even measuring effectiveness. We do need to be wise stewards of resources. But just as we don't need to be talented singers to express worship musically, I believe God was pleased as I gave my best effort in working at the tasks before me. I did not need to be a professional construction worker to worship through my labour.
One of our objectives in being there was to be a blessing to our brothers and sisters in Christ. Writing a cheque for tools and resources would have been a blessing, no doubt. But I believe that going and giving of ourselves, our time, our efforts, and our resources, was a greater blessing than any amount of funds we could have raised on its own.
I think some of the other thoughts I had on my purpose in being there qualify for a separate point...
B. Leadership.
I have been passionate for quite sometime about seeing people exposed to short-term missions. Being involved in leadership & team-building for the first time ever has been a great experience to learn from (and it was fun!). Perhaps this has been the primary purpose for me being part of the team...?...fulfilling (to my best, at least) this role and learning from it for future endeavours? That kinda makes sense.
C. Fears.
Knowingly putting myself in a position where I was likely to encounter my phobia...that was excruciatingly hard. Anyone who knows me knows what my irrational fear is, but I hate the thought of even mentioning it here because it seems so trivial and stupid that to pontificate on it makes it all seem a little over-dramatic.
Suffice to say, I was scared. God did not put me in a bubble so that I didn't have to face it at all. And He did not suddenly remove the fear from within me. There were moments of significant anxiety. What I found was a heightened ability to rationalize with myself in the midst of the anxiety. I came away feeling that God had brought me through, even though it was hard.
Bottom line: I never want to let fear (this particular one or any other) keep me from going where God leads me or doing what He wants me to. Fear (along with guilt) has got to be the worst basis for decisions/behaviour.
D. Worship.
I really enjoyed worshipping in the different culture, and I think I've gained more expressiveness in my own worship to God. I hesitate to say "freedom in worship" because that insinuates that less expressiveness is a lack of freedom, which I don't think is necessarily true. It simply sparked a desire to be more expressive, and I'm enjoying that.
Anyways, those are my initial thoughts.
posted by sibbie751 @ 1:50 a.m.
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